In order to understand how Mercury has affected me to this day, it’s important to understand my health history.
Throughout my whole life, I’ve always had sleep issues, been extremely fatigued, had anxiety, OCD, ADD, as well as on-off bouts of depression.
In addition, I’ve always had a bunch of other weird health issues like teeth grinding, cold hands/feet, arms and legs falling asleep easily, not being able to sweat, arthritis, and back and hip pain.
As I got older, these issues got worse, especially my sleeping and energy levels. I needed 10 hours of sleep to even function, and I would still be dead tired all day until nighttime. This would cause me to fall asleep later and later every night until I was waking up at 4pm and falling asleep at 8am.
Then it would take me weeks of trying to reset my sleep schedule by taking Ambien or staying up as late as I could with coffee to try and go around the clock.
When I eventually would get it reset to a normal schedule, it would only take one nap or one night past 10pm to start the vicious cycle all over again. It was fucking awful and I could never have a stable life.
In high school and college when I had to get up at a certain time, I wouldn’t be able to stay awake and even brought a pillow to class.
In regards to my anxiety and depression, I made huge progress during an intense period of self-improvement in 2013-14. I completely obliterated my social anxiety and my depression lifted when I started setting goals and achieving them.
However, there was a very noticeable cap on this improvement. My energy levels were still stuck on zero no matter what I did for myself in regards to socializing, sleep, exercise, or diet.
And my arthritis and muscle soreness, had gotten significantly worse over the years. At first it was just one small spot in my lower back, but now has extended to my hips, wrists, elbows, knees, neck, and shoulders.
It became very hard for me to be physically active, and laying down was the only real comfortable position for me. Working in bed from my laptop was all I could really manage.
Life in total had always been extremely difficult for me, and my strange health issues kept getting worse every year that passed. I knew that there was always something wrong with me, no matter how many times doctors told me otherwise.
I used to think it was just my genetics (which is partially true), because I just couldn’t fix my health issues no matter what I tried. It also didn’t help that no-one ever believed me, and I was just thought of as lazy.